I've fallen in love again and again ...

Hi everyone!

Wow its hard to believe that it has been six days since I first met Eliza, my daughter. They say that it is love at first sight and man did they get that right! Let me recount the last 6 days for you - I think more for me than you but if you are interested keep reading ..

When we found out on Monday that we would be meeting Eliza that evening a million different things raced through my mind. First and foremost I just wanted her to be healthy, I was so anxious to see her, to feel her, to smell her, I was scared - would the c-section hurt, would I get sick, will Eric make it through without passing out. Well they didn't give me a lot of time to think which was probably for the bettter and off we went. Again the whole time I am just praying that she is healthy. They take me back, prep me, spinal - breeze, then the curtain goes up. I layed there trying to "remember to remember" just like the day Eric and I got married. I remember everything - the doctors asked if the NICU team was ready - they said ready. They said bring in the husband - Eric was brought in to sit by my head. And then I just stared at Eric and waited - waited to hear the cry I had longed to hear for 35 weeks and 1 day. With a few tugs I heard it - her cry! It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. They showed her to me over the curtain and Eric was told to follow the baby. I hear the nurse say 9.9 on APGAR - praise the Lord and then I was told that Eric was cutting her cord. Next thing I know he is holding her and showing me OUR DAUGHTER. She was beautiful - she stared at me with one eye open and held my finger. At that moment my life was forever changed. Eric left the operating room to go with her just like we had planned - we didn't want her to be alone one second in this new world. The hardest part of the c-section was not knowing what was going on when Eliza left the room but with a cry, scores of 9.9 and her daddy by her side I found comfort. I had a smile that never left my face. When I got to the recovery room I asked the nurse to call the nursery to find out how much she weighed and how she was doing. They let Eric speak to me on the phone and he said she was doing perfect and weighed a surprising 4 lbs 12 oz. A whole 11oz. more than we had thought!

At about 11:30 pm they finally brought her to me - she was amazing, perfect in every way possible. It was the answer to a prayer that Eric and I had prayed so many times over the past 5 years.

The next 4 days are a bit of a blur. Learning how to nurse was by no means easy but happy to report that despite her size, she is a champ. The lactation consultants were our best friends and helped us through the learning curve. We were told that Eliza was the best 35 weeker they have ever seen BF. We knew she was advanced!

By Thursday it was time to come home. I must admit I was a bit nervous. Dr.Wright told me that I might go through a time where I didn't trust myself. I had been taken care of by the nurses and doctors for so long and Eliza too and now it was up to me. She was right - we were excited to leave but scared to do it on our own. The first night was interesting - as all the nights have been - I have yet to take off my glasses or turn off the lamp. I just want to look at her every minute and not miss one moment with her.

Sutton came to visit this weekend and to help me and Eric. She is the best Aunt and the only one Eliza has since Eric is an only child. I have a feeling that they will have a lot of wonderful times together in the future. Mom and Dad have been here alot also and its so hard for all of them to leave. Little Eliza has stolen all of their hearts.

Ok well today is Sunday - the one day in the week that Eric and I always looked forward to. And now that she is here the day is just as exciting - tomorrow she will be one week old. Amazing how the week has flown by.

Eric's Part of the Blog: Eliza and I enjoyed our first UNC/DUKE game last night. She cheered hard for the Tar Heels and was a good luck charm in the Carolina victory. She thought the dunk (see pic) was as nasty as her diaper. Go Heels!!!!

I have been thinking a lot about my pregnancy and some of my experiences. I never got to experience going out in public with a big prego belly. I never got to experience going to all the cute stores to pick out gifts for a registery. I never got to experience going weeks without seeing a doctor. I never got to experience stretch marks and back aches. I never got to experience a normal pregnancy. But the things that I was able to experience far exceeded all the things I thought were important in a pregnancy. I did experience a renewed relationship with the Lord. I did expereince the most amazing journey with the most amazing man, Eric. I did experience afternoons of Oprah with mom. I did expereince countless hands of Gin Rummy with dad and Eric - I still have yet to beat mom. I did experience countless kicks, stretches and rolls from Eliza in my belly. I did experience the power of prayer and friendships that will last a life time. I did experience time - time to dream, time to worry, time to pray, time to laugh, time to cry and time to just be me.

I am thankful for every moment of our journey - and I am thankful for all you who chose to take that journey with us. Now the real journey has just begun.

Thank you for reading my story - I wanted to write this for me as a journal of this experience so sorry if it is too much, too emotional, too personal - I just need to relive it and I wanted to share it with all the people that helped me through it the last 5 months. Thank you.

I hope to attach a few pictures of what we have been up to since we have been home.

I love you and I thank you.

-Caroline