Well I thought I would clear a few things up because I have been thinking a lot about it lately ... Over the last 4 months I have received many emails from you, my friends and family, about what a great mother I will be and how you have been amazed by my optimism and humor. Well I just want to say that I strongly believe that I am not doing and have not done anything that each one of you wouldn't do for your child. Its just one of those things you do when you love someone - whether you have met them or not :)
Regarding my optimism - I think I have always been a "happy" and "positive" person. The hardest thing I have struggled with over the past 4 months is that I have lost that. The truth is a cry a lot - there are days that I am not ok - just ask Eric, mom, dad, Sutton, Deborah, Tracy, Holly and every nurse at Wilmington Maternal Fetal Medicine.... lord how can I forget Suzy! I made a promise to Eliza about a week ago that I was going to get over myself and stop this mess. She deserves a mommy that laughs and dreams about what life will be like when she is walking, driving and God forbid dating! So my point to all this is I am not as "together" as it may appear but I am so grateful for EVERY day, EVERY kick and EVERYone of YOU!
So - let's talk about exciting things - Eric picked me up 3 new mags from the grocery store .. speaking of grocery store - Eric has decided that all the hot women in Wilmington are hanging out at the grocery store - interesting never experienced that while I was looking for firm broccoli or organic pasta sauce but maybe I wasn't looking ... not sure about todays line up on the TV but I am anxious for American Idol tonight - ok I am sure you are tired of reading my blog - I mean y'all don't just lay around and read blogs all day???
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Ok, I typed up a long comment and somehow deleted it. First of all I said that you can never blog too much...AHC takes two 2-21/2 hour naps a day so I do have some free time and love reading blogs!
Nobody would expect that you have it all together , all the time. That wouldnt be normal. You will be an amazing mother and none of us are without faults. it is ok to worry and be sad sometimes and cry when you feel like it. That is why you chose an amazing man to marry and why you have a great family and friends that will always pull you up and give you reasons to look at the positives..and miss eliza gives you reasons everyday to do that. it just isnt feasable to think that you wont have sad/down days though...and it is OK. feel what you feel and know that it is fine to do so. my grandfather used to say 'if it wont matter in a hundred years, it doesnt really matter now'...so to that...just think...10 yrs from now when little liza is sassing you and wanting her ears pierced all of this will be water under the bridge that you and eric have grown from....you are amazingly strong though, caroline....don't doubt that a bit. love you much.
This blogging thing is new to me but when big sis says to get with I listen! By the way you are the most positive person I know and that has not changed through this preganancy. Give yourself some credit - I know everytime we talk about Eliza I can hear your joy and excitement. Your hormones are crazy - of course you cry - you love Eliza so much it would be impossible not to worry.
Enjoy your afternoon TV line-up and milkshake - yummy! That is a great prego perk, enjoy! I love you to peices.
Caroline you are a such an amazing person and throughout our friendship you have continued to give me hope when I needed it and a kick in the hiney when I needed that too. I will never forget when Will was in the hospital at 15months with Roto vitus...you and Eric drove all the way from Wilmington, knowing that our planned trip was going to be spent in HP regional. My point is...no one is keeping score Caroline. You give, you take, you give more sometimes, you take more at other times...but in the end its about being there for each other when you need it most and right now is that time for you. When life is a bed of roses its easy to nurture relationships, but when life has its trying times that's when true solid friendships,loving marriages and family dymamics grow stronger and emerge as parts of our life that we cannot live without. So stop all this getting over myself and let those who love you share in your joys, worries, elation and fears. I love you, my godchild, Ricky and your family and thank God for you every night.
Sorry for the book...now go eat something.
Carol, thank you for sharing your heart. Don't be hard on yourself and feel the need to explain. Pregnancy is emotional PERIOD- no matter the circumstances.
Sidenote: Don't mean to be Downer Debbie but the two weeks after the baby comes are just AS emotional if not more (consider yourself warned...nobody warned me and I was a basketcase)! Not to worry, though, it passes. Just don't want you to think something's wrong with you like I did (which makes it worse). That, too, is perfectly normal.
Smile, pretty girl. Love you! Hannie
Ok, I'll admit - I'm kinda liking this blog thing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to start one - I just like reading everyone elses.
Caroline - when I tell my family and friends about your journey, I always talk about what a positive person you are. That's b/c everytime I've seen/talked to you, you are the most positive person I've ever met. You have always shared in our joy and happiness as we have announced our pregnancies and had our babies and I know it was truely genuine. But I can only imagine the days/nights you've cried and prayed to be blessed the same way - you just don't do it in front of everyone. You have 9 months to be crazy, phycho, emotional, happy, excited, scared, hungry (okay that's not an emotion, but go with it) so don't beat yourself up one minute for having any of these emotions. I believe you when you say you cry a lot, but that does not change my opinion of you - you are still the most positive person I know. Accept our compliments when we tell you how much we admire you - there might be times when you admire us. That's what sisterhood is all about - give and take. I pray for you, Eric and Eliza (maybe I should add Suzy) every day and I know she's going to be beautiful and healthy. She's letting you get all the rest you can now b/c you'll need it!! I love you! Now go have some ice cream or something. Sweet dreams!
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